Warp Hustler Issue 1 Digital Edition

$5.00

Austin, 2021: Janice Hoffman's a 34 year-old pot-smoking slacker working at the last video store in Texas.  Her life may look aimless and boring, but she's watching every Star Trek episode ever in in-universe chronological order and already made it through 3 seasons of Enterprise.  So there.  Also, she may get shot in the face for choosing the wrong color swatch.

New Jersey, 1937: A very confused Janice materializes on the Hindenburg for 21 seconds as it's engulfed in flames. 

A different Austin, 2021: An adult Janice with a child brain briefly appears on top of a parking garage.  A stylishly-dressed woman wants her to take a message to Bob (this may also involve getting shot in the face).

Mexico City, 1987: Baby Janice is maybe being abducted by maybe-aliens.

No Damn Idea: Janice is running from totally-for-sure-aliens who travel on kaiju-sized hermit crabs.  Janice is speaking Spanish with a 7 ft tall gas-masked zombie in what looks an awful lot like a 1920s German Expressionist sci-fi movie.  Janice is free-falling through the thermosphere of a gas giant, in the exact 21 seconds of time and space where it won't cause her to asphyxiate, freeze, burn or explode.

Also, possibly in a meta-level where time is moot: Janice is consulting with an infinitely large publishing house on the comic book adaptation of her life story (which itself possibly only ever happened in a comic book).  It's written and painted by infinite chimpanzees, a miracle of temporal engineering that was humanity's final FU to AI writers and artists.

Through all this, one thing's always the same: Janice is waiting for Bob.  Partly to explain WTF is happening, but mainly to kick his ass.

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